CINDYASCANIO

Holiday Letter 2011

2011-12-03T15:08:00.000-08:00

Happy Holiday’s to you in 2011!
This was the year Beth had back surgery, and was off work for 137 days. As she was recovering from the spinal fusion procedure, we both turned 50 years old, (we are only 9 days apart). I went to the lake with Beth, Jeanne, Bobbie and Larry, and some of Beth’s friends came out the next day. We kept a campfire going all weekend, and although the weather was cool and cloudy, it only rained a little bit overnight the first night. Bobbie took this picture when the sun came out the next afternoon:

The” 5-0” at Marion Lake

For Beth’s birthday, I threw her a surprise party at a local hotel. She had the whole weekend for role-playing with her best friends. We reserved a big room next to the lobby to play (and eat) all weekend long.
Our annual trip to Arkansas’ Beaver Lake was enjoyable –great weather this year…..no burn ban. I could add many more pictures of Beth’s fish-catching ability, she caught fish everywhere…..the freezer is stocked.

White bass

Even with a record-setting heat wave over the summer, we still went camping at least once in every month between April and October!
There were no international yoga retreats this year, but I made time for yoga weekends. I made a trip to Tyler, Texas to support YogaBeth’s workshops. She invited a guest teacher from Colorado to three different studios where she teaches. In September I made the trip to Estes Park for the Yoga Journal Conference by myself, sharing a cabin at the YMCA of the Rockies with a yoga teacher I know from Wichita. She had her two dogs with her, and they were great company while I was there.

Biking at Lake Estes

I started teaching a new yoga class at Linwood Recreation Center, turning over the Edgemoor yoga classes to a friend of mine who had been away from teaching for a couple of years and mentioned that she wanted to teach again. It’s well-attended and I love the time slot….I can go home from work for a little while before class starts and I don’t have to change clothes in my office bathroom with the cold tile floor!
I bought my first boat in 2011, a kayak. No batteries, motor, tires….toss it in the truck, carry it to the water, and paddle!

Lake Afton, late summer

Mom and I are wrapping up the year with one more adventure - a mother/daughter weekend in San Francisco. A little yoga for me, and some sightseeing for us both. I had asked friends there to “stop the shaking” before I arrived (they had been having earthquakes in the Bay area)……and unbelievably, the next weekend: we had one right here in Wichita! It originated in central Oklahoma, and I absolutely felt it underneath the house that night. I was completely surprised and amazed at the event….my first-ever experience of an earthquake.
I hope you and yours have a great 2012!

What will you do when your suntan fades......

2011-11-21T11:36:00.000-08:00

I once put a song on a music mix for a friend of mine called: "What Will You Do When Your Suntan Fades?" by Beulah. Cute song, and it will make you smile.....but there is a note of seriousness (at least for me) contained within the lyrics. Like this:

The days are getting shorter
And what will you do when your suntan is fading and the summer's gone?
Do you feel afraid?

This goes back to a time when I was at a crossroads. I was re-locating to another city, all the familiar faces and places were going to be gone, and my future was unknown, so it was pretty scary. The last few evenings I spent with my friends before I left were crisp and cold, it was dark very early, and you could see your breath in the air. Believe it or not, over 30 years later, and I still have that sense of foreboding at least one time or another in late fall. It may catch me as I leave work and it's already dark. It may appear with a gust of cold, biting wind, or the smell of leaves burning. With yoga, I have learned to see this as only a groove, a pattern, a memory, and I know that there is really nothing to fear. When that feeling happens, I take a deep breath, count my blessings, and embrace it. Yoga teaches us so much more than how to do a proper forward bend........

Retirement

2011-07-30T06:12:00.001-07:00

Some great speakers crossed the stage in front of me this past week, Terry Bradshaw, Bill Cosby, Lou Holtz, Colin Powell, Rudy Guliani.....all brought to Wichita for a motivational seminar. One speaker was talking about retirement: "GONE are the days when you work for the same company all your life and retire with a pension!" he said. "You have to take control of your own retirement now!"

Not too long ago, my friend's uncle died....at 68. The funeral was held two days after he died in the hospital, which was two days after he was admitted, a quick and unexpected death from a stroke. Now while we might envy the man a fairly trouble-free way of leaving this earth, I learned that he had retired early, at 64.

Four years. Four short years to spend differently than our lifetime (it seems) of getting up every single morning, rain or snow, heat or wind warnings, with not enough sleep, with a headache, needing a break, and going to work every day. Four short years free of the grinding routine of his job (even those that love their work must admit that sometimes, it is just an existence/chore). Did he have plans to do things after retirement? Yes. Of course he did!

That fact was never more stark, never more personal, never more timely than at this man's funeral. I calculated, I extrapolated, I visualized and I dreamed of spending more than four short years in the next chapter "after my professional career" (AMPC).

AMPC, I plan to help a not-for-profit. I even have the general type of non-profit selected - either homelessness or feeding the hungry. While there are few paying positions in this area, I am called toward it, and know I'll find a way.

So what's holding me back at my age? Some of it is fear, AMPC, health insurance is no longer a luxury, it is a necessary as shelter and food (if you have assets that are at risk that is, my indigent brother will be served if he needs health care, with no way to extract payment from him afterwards). The leading reason for bankruptcy is medical costs.....not credit card debt.

The small population here is another obstacle. To put it in perspective, I used to attend the Susan Komen Race for the Cure here in Wichita. The event would draw about 7,500 people. I visited Little Rock, Arkansas.......their Race has 45,000! Forty-five Thousand people!

So.........if I live now, because tomorrow is not promised to anyone, and if I am going to do what I am called to do, I would have to change some things!

These are dangerous words........being written and spoken by a person who has lived in the same city her entire life (except for college), a person who has had the same type of job her whole career, and who lives in the first house she ever bought -more than two decades ago.

And yet.......there is my study and practice of yoga.....a practice that sustains me, teachings that I continuously attempt to incorporate into my life, and the calm and confidence that they instill. It will work out. Even on the cusp of great change, clear-seeing is possible, and the right choices will seem natural and organic.

Wish me well......
Namaste.

I swept the floor.......

2011-03-19T07:17:00.000-07:00

My first Karma class:

I arrived at Karma studio early (work ends at 5, class is at 7, the drive is maybe 3 minutes......so there's no chance of my ever being late to this one!), grabbed my mat bag and a couple of blocks from the back of the mini-van and went inside. Every day now the place is taking its shape, becoming its own, changing, sporting new art and decorations on the walls. Shakira was blasting out of the speakers and Rebecca called out "we're dancing! come in and join us"!

One student arrived a few minutes later, did a little clothes shopping, and then we started the class. Rebecca unrolled her mat as well, and the three of us spent an hour on standing poses, supine stretches and then final relaxation. I have a Walkman, not an iPod, so I let Rebecca choose the music, Celtic (and how DO you really say that word? "sell-tic" kell-tick"?) as it turned out, and it did the trick.

The instructors are expected to help to clean and close the studio at night, so I followed the reception desk staff into the back room to find a broom, swept the floor and brought in the cardboard sign just outside the entrance for the night.

Here's hoping more Wichita yogi's will try a gentle Friday night yoga class to end the week and kick off the weekend!

Namaste, Cindy

Snow days..............

2011-02-05T13:00:00.001-08:00

February 2011, snow days..............cold bitter wind...........cloudy skies.........save the outdoor kitty! stock up on stuff to make soup.........sleep for hours and hours..........

recent developments.......

2010-12-10T10:14:00.000-08:00

Beth has carried mail for the United States Postal Service for nearly 26 years. She has experienced every kind of weather, all types of customers, vehicle breakdowns, dog attacks, trips and falls, and hostile supervisors. She has both received and bestowed many kindnesses, saved a life, been an eyewitness to criminal activity, and taken part in annual food drives - carrying hundreds of pounds of donations back to her station. Her customers absolutely love her. She proudly wears the uniform and carries out her duties as best she can, day after day, year after year. It was always her plan to spend her remaining working years as a Letter Carrier.

Unfortunately, the physical nature of the job, the addition of over 50 walking blocks to her route in the last 12 months (and the threat of more to be assigned), continued health issues, and her outlook for the future has brought her to a fork in the road.....a decision-point. With seven years left to "early" retirement, she has come to the hard realization that she simply cannot make it that many more years. We certainly wish there was a safety net for a postal employee who cannot walk that far every day, but is not eligible for disability. She believes that if she continues to "gut it out", she will, in fact, become disabled. She is taking far too much pain medication to make it through each long, hard day and we all know that pills only mask the problem, they do not solve it.

As I write this (December 10th), it is Beth's intention to leave the post office at the end of the year to pursue a degree in studio art at Wichita State University. While this may sound like an easy decision: "following your bliss" or "listening to your body", (which it is), there are serious financial consequences to leaving a job, any job, but especially a career job -and it is no light matter to plan and execute this change responsibly (health and life insurance mean very little to a 20-year old, and everything to a 50-year old).

So....a new chapter begins.......

Holiday Letter 2010

2010-11-23T10:07:00.000-08:00

Happy Holidays 2010!

In February, with the long cold Kansas winter nearly over, we purchased tanning sessions, a first for me. It was NOT what I thought! My feet got cold, the tanning bed was cold, the air blowing on me was cold. But I felt like a bit of ‘color’ was a good idea on my pale skin before heading to Mexico!

March: We spent a week on the beach at Maya Tulum, a resort south of Cancun. It was a yoga retreat and a vacation on the beach! We had great food, great yoga, a self-guided tour of the Mayan ruins with our new friends, shopping, and of course….swimming in the ocean. Bethie met another watercolorist and they made instant friends. My schedule included yoga each morning for 2 hours and again each evening for 2 hours. For six straight days!

…..on the Yucatan Pennisula

We named Bethie’s new fishing boat “Maya” because (after buying it at the show in February), it wasn’t ready for delivery until the week we left for Mexico…so we asked Wichita Marine to hold her for a few extra days. She has a top! So Cindy doesn’t get sunburned in the summer!

Spring ---We had a good camping season with our friends and “adopted” family, the Welsh’s. We dedicated our outings this year to the memory of our sister, Mona Jones, who fought cancer until February 1st. We met Jeanne and Amy in Vegas in April, Beth hit a nice slot machine jackpot on the way out the front door (literally!). We met again in Wichita this November for a mini-vacation/weekend.

July – August – September
Still bit by the travel and yoga bug, I went to the Dallas area for a week in July and toured several yoga studios with my best friend Beth (YogaBeth) who had been visiting the area yoga studios, blogging about her experiences, and meeting new teachers and students. YogaBeth then gave me the tour! Great stuff! Meanwhile, Bethie took her first art class! We all had fun partying at the hotel pool with family and old friends (like my college roommate), and I finally got to visit a “Cheesecake Factory”.

August was our annual trip to Beaver Lake – new boat, bigger motor –so Bethie bought a tube called “Big Mabel”, and she turned out to be a lot of fun. You should have seen us try and “unseat” my brother Derek, his legs bouncing as high as 4 feet in the air! Rana and I managed to hang on when it was our turn……but just barely.

September was the long drive to Estes Park, Colorado for the Yoga Journal Conference held there every year at the YMCA of the Rockies. This time we took YogaBeth and Bethie’s sister and brother-in-law Jan and Gary Etheridge. Gary was a great fishing buddy to Bethie…..YogaBeth and I left each morning for the conference and we all met again for dinner and games in the evenings.

There was a lot to do: yoga, trout fishing, shopping, bike rides, and soaking in the hot tub. Other than a late night visit from a bear when we didn’t empty our trash and a close call with someone else’s car wreck as I rode my bike through a pedestrian intersection, all was well.

Volunteer work (Sept/Oct)

2010-10-08T19:22:00.001-07:00

I volunteered for a local charity in September and October 2010. I sat on a panel that allocates funds based on various criteria and on the panel's analysis of several required budget forms (the main issue: How much is estimated to be available in 2011). Preparatory work involved studying the agencies financial statements, logic models, and proposals, and noting any questions or concerns to discuss during face-to-face meetings with this panel. This I did on vacation in Colorado and on the drive home.......

The agencies requesting money submitted their budgets and financial information in meeting after meeting, our panel sat through nine distinct program presentations from five agencies in just over a week. It was very intense! One day, I worked all morning, attended consecutive presentations that lasted all afternoon and then went to teach yoga that night. Our panel members got to know each other very quickly -however briefly - and for the specific purpose of voting on an amount to give away to each of the agencies in 2011.

As with any panel or committee, there were a couple of very strong personalities - hard-working professionals who had clear ideas about how money should be spent and what outcomes are desirable. Leader's in their respective organizations (banks, aircraft manufacturers, social work, law firms, real estate agents), they were an impressive bunch. It was actually difficult not to be intimidated or star-struck.

We voted after each presentation, one by one, day by day, meeting by meeting. Then we held a wrap-up session. I had spent some time preparing an argument (I wanted to take some funds away from one agency and give them to another - I had been disappointed that the panel lowered this agency's amount for 2011) and with little hope of getting what "I" wanted, I entered the conference room for our final meeting.

Based on what happened next, my arguments must have resonated with others on the panel, because a lively discussion ensued comparing these two charities. We had already decided what to allocate, and now we were discussing changing our decision. And sure enough, when the votes were counted, I was able to get the motion to pass. That was a warm glow I have never experienced before!

The sobering part is that one agency had to lose funds so that another would be allocated more. That is the hard truth of our current economic situation. Each of the agencies is "deserving"........but I personally felt one deserved more -from the very beginning. And if fundraising goals are met, they will have it.

time.............

2010-08-18T10:56:00.001-07:00

In the book of time, our names are kept
Our stories written down
Our deeds will stand along beside
The love that we have found

And if much or little more remains
Time will catch us, me and you
How long given is not shared
(this of course, we always knew).

yoga - on your own......

2010-06-11T10:59:00.000-07:00

I have a student on Thursday nights who asked me at the end of last session (ahead of a two week break) if I would give her some tips or written sequences for practicing yoga while she was on vacation. She was looking forward to a quiet trip into nature (a cabin by a lake or a condo in the mountains or some country setting....) with just the family.

I suggested that she see me after class, and we visited in general about designing a home practice and ways to practice away from home. I remember telling her a little of my own story - how, early in my practice, and with the advice/input of my teachers, going to the lake, finding a quiet spot and letting the natural surroundings, my own desires, and physical internal signals tell me what to do, how to move, how long to be on my mat.

What I didn't tell her was how concerned I was back then that I would not be able to practice on my own.....what poses should I do? what props? What if someone saw me and thought I was weird? Should I set aside an hour? Less? More? What if I just sat there? I didn't tell her that my first attempt at an individual practice in nature lasted less than 15 minutes (still fun and worthwhile, just short!) but that I learned a lot about myself.

Classes started up again this week. This student looked radiant, relaxed, and happy. After class she described her experiences, which not so surprisingly, mirrored my own. She saw an eagle fly overhead, she heard the wind, and she was inspired. She didn't go with a set plan and was willing to just see what happened. The first time she rolled out her mat, her practice lasted about 20 minutes, and there were several other opportunities during her trip. She told me it was the best experience she had ever had.

I smiled at her, told her how happy I was for her....and said: "now that.....was yoga....."

neighbors......tall grass, weeds, & last year's leaves

2010-05-11T11:52:00.000-07:00

You have one. I know you do. The neighbor that doesn't keep their property up as good as you would like, or has loud parties, or parks cars in your way, or blows leaves into your yard or the street....or maybe you don't care for the color of the house, or the type of decorations they use......whatever it is.

I have a house on either side of me that could, if I let them, drive me absolutely to distraction. Twenty years ago, two little old ladies lived next door to me - one on each side. The houses were old, not updated (no central air for example), but the ladies managed to mow the yard and keep their homes reasonably repaired. Eventually.....both ladies died -and the homes passed to their daughters.

That's when it got bad, mostly in the spring, when grass grows quickly and needs to be treated for weeds. But also in the fall, when leaves need to be raked and composted. Nothing was done. Then...the honey locust tree died. Then the fence fell down. Then, the driveway cracked, and the guttering fell off.

One of the daughters still lives in her mother's house, the other house is abandoned. It was empty for nearly three years. Finally that daughter came back home to live, but she would say strange things (like her dog could fly), or just sit for hours staring into space. And she turned out to be a hoarder, a pack rat. She is gone again, probably living with family. And the homes continue to age, fall into disrepair, and the grass grows tall. Weeds, trash, limbs/branches, and last year's leaves are a nuisance.

I bring this all up to describe the circumstances, the "back story". But I bring it up to make a certain point too.......one that has to do with "living my yoga".

Last weekend, tired of looking at the front yard of the occupied home (I basically ignore the abandoned one, I'm helped by my wooden fence that blocks the view), I got my gloves, gathered all of the fallen branches and trash for the fire pit or the dumpster....hopped on my tractor and mowed her front yard. I set the blade on the second highest setting. She was not home when this took place. In years past, she sometimes would pull in the driveway when I was just finishing up, give me a look (or maybe say thank you) and go inside. I think she is a little socially inept, or maybe even a little bit impaired, or maybe ashamed?

I love my tractor. I work hard to afford to pay for my yard equipment and everything else I own. She has a mower (have helped her start it before) but doesn't seem inclined to use it very often. Mowing with a lawn tractor is easy work. Just ride awhile. I enjoy the ride. So....(and here is my point)...why did I finally feel resentment? Wasn't I just doing what I've always done? Helping out when I could no longer stand to look at the tall grass is my problem, though there are health concerns with unkempt properties (standing water, ticks, unsafe tree limbs, etc.)

I have to be able to perform a deed, without resenting it! If it's my choice to mow her yard, I can't be mad at her for NOT mowing it! I have the means (I own the equipment, I can buy the fuel), I am blessed with the physical ability, and I made the choice to act. That should be cause for gratitude not resentment. Just thinking about these things is a step toward living the yoga I say I practice.....

I will say that once I finished, I let go of the results. Maybe she noticed, maybe not. Maybe she will thank me, maybe she won't. She might think about mowing her own yard (I didn't touch the back yard), or it might not be on her mind......who knows. That is the part I can feel good about.

The next time I decide to mow her yard, I hope to do so in a spirit of service and unselfishness...then just continue on with my day and let it all go....thus "living my yoga".

Serving a meal at The Lord's Diner....

2010-05-06T11:00:00.000-07:00

.....from the Lord's Diner website: "The Lord’s Diner serves dinner nightly from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m., 7 days a week, 365 days a year, including holidays. A small paid staff, assisted by more than 5,500 volunteers representing many faiths and denominations prepare and serve a hot, nutritious meal in a spirit of compassion, respect and loving service. The Lord’s Diner is currently serving an average of 400 meals nightly".

It was the first Tuesday of the month (assistance checks had arrived the dining room director told us), and so it was a fairly light night (by the diner's standards). At times, the Lord's Diner will serve over 500 people in just under two hours. Tonight, when the doors opened, there was a huge rush. At first we were so busy scooping and dishing, that we couldn't really look up or around. As the first wave passed, we were able to take a breath and notice our surroundings. Behind us stands a team of men who restock the serving trays - "more potatoes...more bread", we call out as we need refills.

Some guests are open and friendly, some are drunk or high, some are surly, quite a few just shuffle past with trays and drinks, not saying a word, not making eye contact. There are more families with small children than ever before.

The sensory experience is hard to describe -steam in our faces from the storage carts that hold the hot food, the strong smell of cigarette smoke and unwashed humans as the diners pass by, the foot or leg ache from standing so long in one spot, how hard it is to maintain mountain pose during breather times (still that tendency to "sit" on one hip). The rubber mat that I was standing on ended at my right foot, so my left foot was an inch lower at my station. And...why is there always an itch on your face, just when you have clean hands and clean gloves on them? Ha!

The t-shirts worn by the diners with slogans like: "Carpe Diem", "I'm Excited To Be Here", "Power to the People" "River Run", etc. seemed to mock the plight of the person receiving this hot, free meal.

And, this being my home town for nearly half a century.......I did see someone I once knew. Someone who, 20+ years ago had a job, and an apartment, and friends to hang out with. Someone who looked right past me and did not see me. Someone once very much like me. Someone I was once very much like.

2010 will be my 5th year as a Lord's Diner volunteer.

Maya Tulum

2010-05-03T09:42:00.000-07:00

I had an opportunity to visit the Yucatan Peninsula in March for a yoga retreat. Most of the participants came from the Bay area (where the teacher, Barbara Voinar lives), but she draws students from all over the United States. I met her in Wichita at a yoga workshop three years ago.

Maya Tulum is a resort and wellness center, offering mud treatments, vegetarian food, at least 8 different types of massage, a sweat lodge, beach activities, and yoga. Visiting yoga teachers reserve group trainings and retreats, like ours. We had a two hour class each morning and a two hour class each evening (doing the math: 24 hours of yoga in 6 days).

The food was good, with fish on the menu two nights (wahoo and grouper), plenty of fresh fruit, beautiful salads, traditional Mexican rice, tortillas and tamales - just without meat. The hosts arranged for a salsa dance class on Friday from two professional dancers (video on my facebook page), and there were a variety of eco-tours in the area. A group of us rented bikes (the old-fashioned kind – pedal forward to go, and backward to stop!) and toured the Mayan ruins up the coast a few kilometers. That day, El Presidente (Felipe Calderon) was there giving a speech, and the military presence was awe-inspiring. There were Mexican navy ships off-shore and certain areas were off-limits to tourists. Later in the week, some of the students went on a float trip, others went snorkeling.

The accommodations were modest, mostly thatched-roof huts and cabanas, but they were comfortable, well-furnished, and clean. I highly recommend it!

http://www.rrresorts.com/f.html#/maya_tulum/

Company newsletter submissions.....Yoga for the Office Worker

2010-04-18T07:10:00.000-07:00

Time Out!

Try to allow yourself time each day, or weekly (!) to be without external stimuli–traffic, music, crowds, television, or engaged in a task like driving, doing laundry, or talking/texting. It may be difficult to find a place in our chaotic urban or home environment, but it is well worth the effort to do so. As you sit quietly with yourself, you may find your thoughts spinning like a Kansas spring storm, and that will be okay at first…..with a little practice, this “empty” time will start to have a positive effect on your well-being.

In our stimulation-based lives, we are constantly seeking fulfillment through activity, which leaves no time for the quietness of simply being present with you. If this is true, then how does our “turned-up-high” nervous system know when it’s appropriate to shift to a lower gear? Not only do we not know when to turn down the dial, we don’t even know how! What would happen to a machine that runs full-speed all the time? Wouldn’t you agree that the same thing could happen to people?

Give this quiet time a chance to work by finding a peaceful spot, sitting comfortably in a chair or on the floor, and turning your attention to your breathing. Is your breathing shallow? rough? smooth? short? tight or tense? Can you slow it down and make it more regular just by thinking about it? Does your cell phone or watch have a timer? Set your timer, close your eyes and relax your shoulders.

Give yourself just 5 minutes of this exercise. See if you feel a little calmer, a little less pressured, a little more restored to “yourself”. And if 5 minutes seems like an eternity….and it just isn’t working at all…..and all you can think about is what to fix for dinner, or how much work you have to do tomorrow…..then simply open your eyes…..pat yourself on the back for trying…..and try again tomorrow!

Cindy

Next time in 5-Minutes of yoga: Stretches for repetitive stress on your wrists and elbows……

Home remodel

2010-03-05T06:25:00.000-08:00

Its a wonder what you find in your own home, especially if you didn't build it, or remodel it the FIRST time around!

I've lived in my house for 20 years. What was once upon a time an attached single car garage (probably not even big enough for today's monster SUV's or full size trucks), was turned into a fourth bedroom. Most of the homes in my neighborhood have similar remodels, using what was the original garage for living space: a room with a fireplace, another entrance, an extra bedroom or an office.

There was some damage below the window that was repaired with new Sheetrock, but it was not insulated. 20 years of heating and cooling only to find out that just a few dollars of insulation inside the wall would have made all the difference.

Pictures to follow.

This room is going to be a yoga room/art studio. It is turning out better than expectations and I am very happy with the progress so far.

2009 Holiday Letter

2009-11-26T08:13:00.000-08:00

What a year! Just after camping season began, Beth’s mom, Margaret, suffered a “mini-stroke” – the doctor called it a transient ischemic attack . Thankfully, there were no long-term effects….but time to let Margaret “retire” -at age 88. She had been maintaining her household almost single-handedly since her husband fell and broke his hip late last year, and the stress was affecting her health.

The Wimber’s moved into a retirement home in July. They are still independent -living in a small apartment in a nicely landscaped area– with covered walkways and easy access to the dining hall. It took the efforts of all the daughters: Shelley to sort, donate, and pack, Beth and I to move, have a sale and clean, and Jan, here from California, to decorate and make them comfortable. At Lakepoint, meals are provided, as is laundry and light housekeeping. The staff is very nice. There are opportunities for bridge, bingo, fitness activities, and the occasional organized party (a luau, car show and a great Veteran’s Day celebration for example). Someone will check on them if they don’t come to meals. Best of all the food is good (for the Wimber’s it was a major concern, trust me)!

As for the house they were living in –Beth and I had owned it for eight years. We had finished a recent remodel of the basement after a flood (a huge, expensive, uninsured project –our agent called it a “maintenance issue”), and then additional construction to accommodate her dad’s reduced mobility after hip surgery (the “porch project”). With nothing but bad news in the real estate sector, we placed the single-family home on the market, hoping for the best, and preparing for the worst. As it turned out, we sold the house in EIGHT days! Not only did it sell quickly, closing took place in the same month. And….that….is what we did…on our summer vacation.

In late March, I graduated from the teacher training program of the Shambhava School of Yoga (it’s based in Colorado, but my training was here in Wichita). It took eight months and I am now a registered yoga teacher (RYT200). I continue to teach weekly classes at a local recreation center.

My best friend’s wedding was in May. For the occasion, I had been growing my hair…well at least that’s how it all got started. J Then it became a challenge to grow my hair to at least 10 inches (the minimum length) for “Locks of Love” -they make wigs for cancer patients. It was a happy day when I cut off that ponytail and mailed it to the charity!

I embraced “social networking” wholeheartedly! It was the summer of my high school’s 30th class reunion. Helped by sites like Facebook and Classmates.com, I was able to re-connect with a number of people, even if they could not attend the reunion. Facebook also helped me find cousins in Maine, California, and New York, college friends, and people from grade school!

Not as much camping as we would have liked, but we made it to Arkansas (Beaver Lake) in September. The group this year included my brother Derek. I was lucky to spend not only a week at the lake with him, but when he was temporarily laid off; he came to Wichita for a week. We built a cedar privacy fence, replaced trim on the outbuildings, and got other little things done. I enjoyed his mellow company.

Even though cut-backs continue at my job with CGF Industries, and with the recreation center where I teach yoga, and with the post office, we look forward to each precious day.

Update on Toyota acceleration........

2009-11-25T08:13:00.001-08:00

http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-toyota-recall26-2009nov26,0,3295310.story

Toyota Motor Corp. said today it would reconfigure or replace the gas pedals in 3.8 million Toyota and Lexus vehicles to prevent the episodes of runaway acceleration that prompted the largest vehicle recall in the company's history.

The announcement dramatically expands the scope and likely expense of the recall, which was announced on Sept. 29. Toyota had initially focused on the possibility that improperly installed floor mats might be causing the unintended acceleration problems, and urged owners of affected vehicles to remove the mats until they could be replaced.Now, beginning in January, Toyota dealers will start reconfiguring the gas pedal "to address the risk of floor mat entrapment."The recall affects the 2007-2010 Toyota Camry, the 2004-2009 Toyota Prius, the 2005-2010 Toyota Avalon, the 2005-2010 Tacoma, the 2007-2010 Toyota Tundra, the 2007-2010 Lexus ES 350 and the 2006-2010 Lexus IS 250 and IS 350.

The Jews...

2009-08-23T16:37:00.000-07:00

Shalom,

First, just know that things will rarely turn out exactly like you expect them to - yet we continue to have and hold expectations anyway, don't we?

I walked into Wichita's Temple Emanu-el 20 minutes early, having come all the way from my camper at Marion Lake to give a free "introduction to yoga" class. It was the start of the Jewish Community Adult Education classes and I had brought a 30 minute "Yoga for the Office" class I have previously given.

The two women who greeted me were all smiles, thanked me and seemed excited that I was there (before shaking my hand, they both clapped!). I quipped "everyone should be greeted this way when they first meet someone!"

They showed me to the library where the tables and chairs had already been pushed aside.

Now a word about books (and precocious young girls who read a lot). When I enter a library, the little bookworm inside of me does a little jig and sings "goody, goody, goody" as she contemplates having a month of solitary confinement with which to read them all. :)

After shaking hands with the rabbi, who stopped in to introduce himself, answer my question about why the posters and historical documents on the wall spelled G_d that way (the name is so holy that you are not supposed to put it on paper or things that may be defaced, damaged or thrown away), I was left alone to wait for the "students".

There were three choices for the adults this day (and I wondered how yoga would rate when I saw them listed on the large poster in the entry):

From the congregation bulletin: http://www.emanuelict.org/emanu_bulletin.htm

"David, our guest speaker, will be talking about building community and our new program. We are also offering Yoga, as well as a traditional Torah Study led by Federation Director, Rabbi Moti Rieber."

Would anyone show up I wondered?

In the library, I had time to move a chair or two and test the light switches for just the right lighting. Then, I stood in front of the shelves quietly perusing the titles, some from famous Jews who's names I recognized. A large volume about the Holocaust caught my eye and I took it down and flipped to a couple of pages.

Just then, 'Abby' came in to look at the rack of children's books free for the taking. She was so talkative, just a-mile-a-minute. She told me about her reading program, the 25 books they were to read, and indignantly said "I can read a lot more than 25 books this year!" Her friend came in and whisked her off to the children's classrooms. She so reminded me of me. I read all the time as a child. Libraries were "cool".

I stood alone again in the quiet library while parents made their way down the halls to their assigned or chosen rooms for the morning sessions. A parent, convincing an upset child that they would be fine, daddy would be right across the hall, not to worry.....a mother walking by, towing a small boy looked up and we smiled at each other. I heard her say "that must be the yoga teacher, she has that 'yoga body'", - - -oh for cryin' out loud I thought, this was getting surreal.

As the clock ticked past our start time, I looked at a stack of magazines, picked up the one on top, and found a great quote by Eleanor Roosevelt -something about embracing new experiences...and then in the same magazine (the summer 2008 issue) - right in the middle, an article about Jewish women and yoga.... ok....a sign. A good sign....

http://www.jwmag.org/site/c.fhLOK0PGLsF/b.4193323/

Still, no students -10 minutes after our start time for the short 30 minute class.....yet I knew that things would be just fine. I was not nervous but open, no expectations, I let them all go.

Then they came. Of the dozen adults who came late to the library (apologizing), 8 had practiced yoga before. I joked that i would "give them the history and practice of yoga in 18 minutes..." :)

It was fine. It was fun. And if I want to use the library....I am welcome to! Here's hoping everyone comes back in October for the "real" thing!

Namaste, Cindy

the immediacy of yoga

2009-08-16T07:21:00.000-07:00

"The immediacy of yoga is astounding, everything essential is right here, right now....." ....so says my thought for the day on the calendar for August 9th.

I maintain several journals, this blog, and my history on the social networking sites. What will become of all these electronic bits? What good are they? As soon as I post, or journal or blog, the moment is over.

What matters is my practice, how I move in the world, and my attempts with yoga to be more of who I really am. Note: If you were really honest, you know that you are not your authentic self for every moment of every day. You are an actor, acting as your professional self, or you in the role of spouse, mom, friend, neighbor, teacher, or daughter.

I only seem to find my true, authentic, uncovered, and natural state in yoga or meditation. The rest of my life peels away layer upon layer and only the moment, the movement, the breath is left. It is so immediate, so essential, so accessible.

This, above all, is why I continue my yoga practice. When I do enter the world of play-acting, I can be more aware of the reasons for being the way that I am, and the reasons to try and change what may not serve me anymore. At a party, I can legitimately explain that I am an accountant by trade, and a yogi by choice...and that the two worlds, while seemingly contradictory, are two sides of the same coin. I use my talents, and share my gifts, then reflect on what makes me "tick", and what makes me happy. I think a perfect example of this is how we are around our parents. If that is not a lifetime of play-acting, I don't know what is! I now notice my reactions to my mother and step-father, how they are grounded in habit, many years of conditioning, many past experiences, and have absolutely nothing to do with the moment that is. When I realize this, I can pause, and be more myself, and not "Daughter". It's worked! It's really worked......over and over.

Then I journal it, to learn the lessons, and to be (as one of my mentors says) "protected and nourished by the teachings."

Namaste.

A new beginning....

2009-07-18T05:50:00.000-07:00

If you knew you could not live in the home you live in now (because it was too much to care for, the space was more than you could handle -cleaning, cooking, shopping, lifting, sweeping, stairs, laundry, trash) and moved into a retirement community, would you be sad at the "ending", or excited about the "beginning"?

The answer - individual for each of us - depends upon our perspective.

It's why the Wimber's (88 years old and enjoying their new "beginning") will live forever.

How I met my college roommate....

2009-04-28T11:16:00.000-07:00

From my college roommate:

Dear Cindy,

"Last weekend, I attended a highschool class reunion, where several years of classes were involved. My first real boyfriend was there and I visited with him and his wife briefly. That Monday, when I returned to work, I had an email from him."

Once upon a time..."M" was at college while we were there, a year ahead of us. The year we entered college, he had spent the summer in town, and since he was friends with the housing director, he was there in his dorm room painting, and getting ready to move back in. His fiance was a girl named "J" who was our age, coming to college to major in art.

He asked his buddy who "J"'s roomate was going to be. The guy couldn't remember the name, but only that her bio matched hers pretty well, and she was also majoring in some art-type field. "M" pressed him for more info, and the guy finally told him he really couldn't remember the name, but she was from the same home town and her name was spelled funny.

"It was me."

"M" said when he saw my name on the papers, he about had a nervous breakdown and couldn't believe that out of all the girls coming into college that year, they would select me to be his fiance's roomie. Well, he freaked out. He told me he begged them to switch me with someone else. He finally got his way,(or, I prefer to think it was blind fate...) and I was switched to be roomies with you instead.

The rest is history! I felt like it was something one might discover while on the Sally Jesse Rafael show where old beau's confess old secrets. If it wasn't for the fear of this past boyfriend feeling out of his comfort zone, I may have never received the letter stating that Cynthia I. Ascanio would be my dorm room "partner in crime."

"Certainly, it could not have been the same without our infamous blue rug dance floor, your stereo blasting popular dance music, our runs to the pizza joint, our laundry shopping cart, your grandma's excellent apple/raisin pie, and all our many diverse, mullti-cultural and least we forget interracial friends."

Quiet

2009-04-11T06:32:00.000-07:00

Think of a quiet place. Put yourself there. Notice your surroundings, imagine the clothes you are wearing, and set the desired temperature. If you are outdoors, imagine the sky above you and the earth below. You are in-between....breathing, part of both sky and earth.

There really is no "quiet place" though -is there?

Outdoors, even in a peaceful setting, there are probably the sounds of birds or animals, insects or the wind in the trees. There may be traffic, human voices, or the distant drone of a lawnmower. We may notice these sounds, but can relegate them to the background.

Indoors, even in a library, there are sounds - machinery, air flow, water in the pipes, the whoosh of a ceiling fan or the rustle of pages in a book.

Even if you were in a soundproof room there would still be sound. The sound of your own heartbeat and the sound of your own breath might be as loud as thunder and ocean waves.

The same is true for your mind. Even when our minds are quieter, the undercurrent of our thoughts are always there. They just are. Thoughts are under the surface of every moment of our lives, even perhaps when we are sleeping.

So just take the time to imagine your quiet place, before you start yoga, in the middle of your commute, anytime during the chaos of daily life. Let sounds, and thoughts, sink underneath - or into the background of the practice. Hone your skills of stopping, breathing and turning your attention inward.

Essay questions for sharing.......

2009-03-19T09:54:00.000-07:00

Selected Yoga Sutra 1.14 "Regular, whole-hearted application over time will create a foundation whereby the practice is firmly integrated."

a) How is this sutra relevant to my hatha yoga practice?

I am 48 years old. The first year of my yoga practice nearly six years ago resulted in great progress as far as my physical body. I was stronger, had greater endurance, developed better breathing, suffered less stress and anger. As most yogi’s know or eventually learn, the progress made in the first year or the first two or three years is not sustainable. There is not a “multiple” of gains. What I learned, what a lot of practitioners learn, is that grasping for something that is not ours is greedy. Example: Janu Sirsasana, with my nose on my knee and my hands clasped around the base of my foot is not for me, not this year, not next year, not ever. And if I reach for it –like I did in 2007, I will injure myself . But the regular, whole-hearted, mindful practice of that pose (or any other difficult pose you want to attempt) is how to build the foundation of a hatha yoga practice. I will have my own Janu Sirsasana – and whole-heartedly, I will perform it to the best and highest of my abilities…..not my desires. That is what this sutra means to me.

b) How does this sutra relate to my yoga teachings?

I must teach what I know, that progress is made in small increments. There is no magic potion, no instant gratification, very few dramatic breakthroughs with yoga. You can either stretch or bend in certain ways right now, or you cannot. You will either be able to stretch or bend certain ways in the future (with practice), or you will not. And if you cannot, or will not be able to do certain things with your body, then I will help you find ways to practice yoga that are both possible for you – and more importantly ---satisfying for you. Otherwise, you will give up too soon and not learn or experience the truth of this sutra. I am called to teach the lessons that I have learned from my teachers and my own experience.

c) How does this sutra relate to my meditation practice?

There is only one answer to this question – this sutra helps me to sit on my mat, over and over and over again. It may be too cold, or too hot. I may have to get up too early, or I am on the road for vacation or business. I may be tired or have guests in my home, but the famous shoe commercial quote is relevant here: JUST DO IT!

2009....so far

2009-03-13T16:56:00.000-07:00

2009 ....so far (March)

Yoga Teacher Training is nearly complete...with a trip to Colorado planned for graduation. The leader of the ashram is coming to Wichita in late April and it is expected that he will hand out the certificates to each graduate in person during the special weekend events......

I'm back in the regular rotation teaching yoga on Thursday nights at Edgemoor Recreation Center and looking forward to using my recent experiences in teacher training to help the yoga students have a satisfying 10 week session. I missed teaching during the winter session, both nights taught by teachers I asked to come there. I subbed twice over the winter. I freely gave up the regular position over the winter-to concentrate on my training and the study that went along with it. But now that I have it back........I think I'll keep it.

My family of "snowbirds" is back in town (my folks winter in Gulf Shores, Alabama as well as cruise the seas....and my aunt and uncle spent six weeks in Ft. Meyers, Florida and the surrounding area with their Harley but without their dog Sam -he stayed with Beth's parents) and we are planning a large celebration of Aunt Bobbie's 65th birthday.

I renewed my food handler's card......has it been 4 years already????? and then spent an afternoon making 100 pounds of coleslaw while the guys in the back kitchen made chili. The chef(s) just said what they wanted and left me.....guess I know my way around by now.

Leaving this thought on this blog:

"Worry is the darkroom where negatives are developed".........

Until next time................

Toyota Tacoma 'unintended acceleration'

2008-12-26T07:37:00.000-08:00

Something happened with our 2006 Toyota Tacoma while meeting friends for brunch. There was a instant of "unintended acceleration." Sort of like a ghost in the machine. At issue is the lack of physical connection between the foot feed and the throttle. Did you know that that has been computerized now? I'm going to state for the record that the "drive-by-wire" system is a BAD IDEA!!!! A moment of sheer panic and fear when the truck was out of control........

Beth was nearly plowing into parked cars attempting to stop the forward motion of the truck! With her foot firmly on the brake, the truck's engine continued to race and the tires dug into the pavement. With only a second to react, she put the vehicle in park and avoided an accident. We can only be grateful there were no injuries - THIS time!

After towing the vehicle to the dealership and having it checked out with the diagnostic computer, the results were as expected (please see article from MotorTrend below). There is nothing the dealership, the manufacturer, or the government can do for us.

We must trade-in this nearly new truck as soon as possible! We cannot trust that it will not happen again. We have experienced a huge financial blow with this situation......but are grateful no one has been hurt.

From MotorTrend:

Recently a wave of owner complaints drove the NHTSA to investigate 2004 - 2008 Toyota Tacoma pickups over a possible problem with sudden, unintended acceleration. All along, the automaker has insisted that, despite hearing of over 431 separate incidents, nothing is mechanically wrong with its truck, and now federal regulators are backing it up -- closing the inquiry, NHTSA says it cannot find a cause for the issue and concludes the acceleration must be from driver error. NOT SO! WE FIND THIS OFFENSIVE! AND IRRESPONSIBLE!

Previously, one Tacoma owner had petitioned NHTSA to look into the Tacoma problems, citing 33 total complaints from fellow drivers. Toyota also admitted it had gotten many more reports of the same issue, including 51 crashes and 12 injuries, OH, THOSE POOR PEOPLE!

while over the past couple years only a few other incidents of sudden acceleration were reported on all other pickup models sold in the U.S. combined. The agency launched an investigation into 775,000 Tacomas built since 2004, but is now concluding no specific defect was behind the problem. Toyota's own examination of the problem found most of the complaints dealt with minor engine-speed changes, which have no impact on the trucks' safety, and that many owners became nervous because of widespread publicity over the issue. That said, the Detroit Free Press previously noted the majority of sudden acceleration reports came before it gained any coverage in the media.

At issue is the Tacoma's drive-by-wire system, which uses a computer to replace the physical connection between the gas pedal and engine throttle. While some owners believe this system is unreliable, Toyota insists it includes a feature that will report an error if the accelerator and throttle ever become mismatched, and so far no Tacoma inspected by technicians or dealers has recorded a problem. THERE WAS NO PROOF - BUT IT WAS REAL!

Now that the NHTSA has ruled the Tacoma to be safe, however, Toyota can turn to more pressing issues like its reduced 2009 sales outlook instead.

From: Detroit Free Press

After 33 different complaints, the NHTSA has launched an investigation into possible sudden acceleration problems on 2006-07 Tacoma pickups. In one such incident Frank Visconi, a retired vehicle theft investigator, was on his way to a Toyota dealer to have his new Tacoma examined for sudden acceleration issues he had been experiencing. As he ran up on another car he tapped the brakes, but instead of slowing down Visconi claims the truck's engine revved suddenly. He lost control of the vehicle and jumped an embankment, causing the Tacoma to roll several times before finally coming to a stop. Miraculously, Visconi was able to walk away from the incident unhurt.

Before this incident Visconi had sent several letters to Toyota chronicling instances where his Tacoma accelerated without warning, but the automaker denied finding any mechanical problems with their truck. The NHTSA has typically ruled that sudden acceleration issues are the result of driver error, but after retired journalist William Kronholm petitioned the agency, it decided to open an investigation.
The owner of a 2006 Tacoma, Kronholm claims his truck had two separate incidents of sudden acceleration in just two hours. He then discovered that compared to the number of complaints about the Tacoma, only four other incidents of sudden acceleration were reported over the same period on all other pickup models combined. The NHTSA investigation has just begun, and if the agency were to suggest a recall it would not happen for some time. For its part Toyota continues to insist their truck is mechanically sound.
Having already been forced to extend warranty coverage for rust on older Tacomas, this could potentially be a damaging blow to Toyota's reputation for quality if proven to be an issue. Hopefully the true cause of the problem will be determined soon, whatever it may be.

Shopping with 87 year olds.....Christmas 2008

2008-12-21T17:47:00.000-08:00

Margaret and Bill Wimber (Beth's parents)......did not know how to use electric carts....never wanted to seem like they needed to......never had Beth there to show them how......would have said that surely others needed the carts more than they did......

Any doubts as to why this generation was called "The Greatest Generation"? Americans that do for themselves, and don't ask others for much, and when they must....they feel just a tad guilty for it?

So....here they are over the weekend....age 87....able to shop together for gifts, able to take their time and take it easy on their feet and knees......

Contrast this with the last trip to Wal-Mart!

December

2008-12-12T10:58:00.000-08:00

Wal-Mart.....Wichita Kansas.....Christmas 2008

We were in the checkout line, Beth and I, with my cart first. I scanned my receipt and noticed that the cashier had double-charged me for an expensive item. I brought it to her attention, but since the sale was complete and she was already working on Beth's purchases, she told me I would have to go to customer service for a refund. I lifted up onto my tip-toes and looked at the customer service counter. The line stretched out into the aisle. sigh. So I went to stand in line, practicing yoga breathing and mountain pose. I was calm.....it was no big deal.....the line was moving. A sight-impaired young woman was in line with her beautiful golden service dog. She asked the customer service rep for a cart and the rep promised to call up front and get her one. Meanwhile, everyone was petting the service dog. The line moved on. The sight-impaired gal sat down and waited patiently, as did her dog.

I received my refund, and walked to the front of the store. The sight-impaired lady was still waiting. A male staff member (standing guard? or just standing?) said "have a good day" as we exited, and right then, I stopped and said "did you know that there is a sight-impaired woman waiting for an electric cart? And she has been waiting for awhile now?". He said, "No, customer service will take care of it."

A few feet away, we saw three overweight women fighting (verbally) over the electric carts. Voices were raised and the the "Welcome to Wal-Mart" lady was trying to keep the peace. We asked her: "did you know that there is a sight-impaired woman waiting for one of these carts? And she has been waiting for awhile?" The 'Welcome to Wal-Mart" cart lady said that no one from customer service had told her anything about reserving a cart.

Meanwhile, the fight over the three available carts raged on.

sigh.

hot yoga in Denver

2008-11-22T05:45:00.000-08:00

I was in the mile high city of Denver on a business trip last week. On the second day, I was able to leave the Colorado Convention Center early and I quickly walked to my hotel room three blocks away. I changed into my yoga clothes and immediately left the hotel again. I was headed ten blocks in the other direction, past the Capitol building, past the bank skyscrapers, and away from the downtown hotels. I had located a yoga studio on the web before I left Wichita and with my miniature map, I found the location with no trouble at all.

The two young women behind the counter looked up expectantly when I entered the lobby. I asked when the next class started and the one on the left said "in 5 minutes". I said I didn't think I had time to fill out the required release forms and she agreed, letting me simply print and sign my name on the form. As I turned away, she said "It's a heated room you know" and I said, yes, I knew (but I wasn't sure which of the classes I had arrived for, there are several different classes each day at this studio......it turned out to be the hot yoga class).

Entering the studio I was greeted by a blast of hot air. The room, already crowded, still had spaces in the middle. The front row was full of young supple bodies. These yogi's stared at their reflections in a mirror no more than two or three inches in front of them as they "warmed up". Those in the back row and around the edges of the room were supine -relaxing in various yoga positions as they prepared for their class.

The instructor entered, did not state her name, and we were off and running! She cranked up the music using a remote she carried around with her, changing the tempo or style whenever she felt like it, and started to belt out the sanskrit names of the poses (I was pleased that she pronounced them correctly). I barely had time to think "where's my warm up?" but you know - that WAS the warm up! Well, of course it wasn't long before we all started sweating profusely. I closed my eyes and made a small request that I not faint, throw up or do anything embarrassing during this class.

As it turned out, I didn't need to worry. Plenty of students paused at least once, and some left the room to cool themselves (or whatever they did outside the door). I noticed the class drinking water, using towels, and taking child's pose whenever they felt like it so I relaxed, kept moving and kept sweating. I felt pretty strong and was fine all the way through. I was introduced to one new variation of Warrior 3 and we did some great abdominal work toward the end - she had the class moaning out loud by this time. Some of the things the instructor said during final relaxation were funny to me - but hey, you slip in yogic philosophy whenever and however you can - even in downtown Denver. :)

As I left, as drenched as I would be if I had been standing in the rain for an hour, I had this feeling of lightness - especially in my legs. I walked partway back to my hotel, about 5 blocks. The weather was unseasonably warm (52 I think), and the light breeze felt great. I grabbed the 16th Street Mall Shuttle for the rest of the journey- to one of the best showers I've ever had.

"Hot yoga" in Denver in November was a unique, memorable, and satisfying experience for this 47+ year old yogi. Namaste to all who seek the wide and wonderful world of yoga - wherever they may be.

William J. H. Boetcker quote:

2008-11-05T09:21:00.000-08:00

You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
You cannot help small men by tearing down big men.
You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer.
You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than your income.
You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatreds.
You cannot establish security on borrowed money.
You cannot build character and courage by taking away a man's initiative and independence.
You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.

William J. H. Boetcker, 1916

Yoga Teacher Training

2008-11-01T15:16:00.000-07:00

Every other Saturday and soon to be EVERY Saturday, I've been in yoga teacher training.

Here are my friends and fellow teacher trainee's. We are halfway through the first of two modules.

Hi Rhonda, Debbie, Kasey, Brad and the divine (and supine) Letty!

More balloons! :)

2008-11-01T15:08:00.000-07:00

Note: the spider is on one of the buildings at the Bergman's corn maze near Haysville.

What a beautiful morning for flying!

My town has a forum!

2008-10-21T19:39:00.000-07:00

http://douglasandmain.wordpress.com/about/

Kirtan

2008-10-13T11:48:00.000-07:00

I always meant to join a kirtan (chanting), just for the experience -I've been on an e-mail list for quite some time, but for some reason it never happened......until Friday, October 10th. I made plans to go to Riverview Retreat and participate in the kirtan at 7:30. In 47 years of living in Wichita, I had never been to this neighborhood, near 53rd Street North and Arkansas, where the houses are backed right up to the river.

Things hit a snag at work and I ended up staying at the office until 7:05. Beth came to get me. Now since the office is at 21st and Woodlawn, I took a deep breath and told her that we needed to be there on time. If we had trouble finding the place after dark or we arrived very late, it would be a sign that tonight was not the night for this new experience.....

We found the house with four minutes to spare and I went up to the door to make sure we were in the right spot (there are private residences in the area, as a matter-of-fact, the entrance says "private drive" -so it's not well marked). A woman wearing all black with a nose piercing answered the door, introduced herself and made us aware of the cushions and chairs available for our use. We settled in, taking note of our surroundings, a once fine and grand main house now used for various activities other than kirtan, like massage, silent retreats, potlucks and drumming (the drum in the living room is as big as my dining room table, and the fireplace, as big as my living room). http://riverviewretreat.com/images/DSC03140-web.jpg
The carpet was a 70's shade of chocolate brown, the decor somewhat Native American (besides the drum) and near the chairs there was a big stack of white pillows to use for sitting.

The facilitator was in front of the fireplace, surrounded by his instruments, amplifier and mike and laptop. He intended to display the PowerPoint of the chants on the TV screen but the connections were not working. So we used the old-fashioned way, everyone was handed a sheet of paper with the words to the chants. We started with OM, it always tickles when multiple people join together in voicing the vibration of this word. Or tingles. I was pleased to see that I knew several chants (from CD's that I use for yoga, or workshops that I've been to) and the 2 hours (!) flew by like 15 minutes. Chanting is a vocal meditation.....you simply cannot worry about bills, or spreadsheets, or yardwork, or retirement when you are singing in a group - no matter what the song is.....you just "sing what you feel, and feel what you sing". Other than the sweet-ish smell of pot wafting in the partially open windows about 20 minutes in (I guess massage comes with extras at Riverview, grin) all was well for the duration. I did get a scratchy throat toward the end- not used to using it for that long I suppose, and there is a lingering hint of cigarette smoke in the building. I realize how chanting or singing can increase one's breath capacity and control. My singing career ended in oh, about the 6th grade - with "Do you love me Schroeder" from a stage production of Lucy and Charlie Brown.

All in all an interesting, not too "woo-woo" and very gentle experience.

Greece 2008

2008-10-02T05:13:00.000-07:00

23 Sept 2008

After only around 4 hours of sleep -we hiked and climbed and made it to the top of the ruins in Athens. Took the E95 bus to the plaka...a center area with gardens and ruins and of course the Acropolis. Took some great pictures, and heard 6 languages-not counting English. By the end of the day we were experts at riding the buses. And at finding WC's (water closets).

24 Sept 2008

Our Olympic Air flight left very early in the morning and we stopped at one small airport before arriving at the island of Lesvos. Our driver was waiting and then.......a harrowing speed-demon, passing on hills and in no passing zones, accelerating around pedestrians, all the while talking and waving his hands.....you can tell that Jorhos (George) loves his taxi job! God! The retreat site is beautiful, on the lushest and most abundant side of the island. Pomegranites, pears, figs, apples, oleander, vanilla, roses, just beautiful. Our first practice was the night we arrived, not having our bodies quite on Greece time yet, the teacher (Barbara Voinar) led a very restorative class, plenty of breathing and time to think about the place we were in (disconnect from the distance we travelled, she told us). Dinner...........my, oh my, it will take an entire e-mail to describe it.........Zucchini blossoms stuffed with cheese, thin eggplant baked w/spices, potato and garlic, fresh yogurt w/honey and walnuts, fruit, a wonderful lentil spread on the hard crust bread. We went to bed so full and so tired. Our 'apartment' is merely a cabin with windows on four sides, so the airflow is amazing. Our own small kichenette area and bathroom. Some of the other 19 participants are in gypsy cabins and share a bathroom and common kitchen area. The owners are from Germany - Ursula and Ireni (who spend winters back home in Frankfurt). They love plants and trees, the place is a riot of growth and gardens, including the rock gardens/labyrinth/stonework.

25 Sept - 27 Sept 2008

The town of Molyvos is terraced - from a castle high on a hill down to the sea. We climbed up the narrow cobbled streets, past shops and homes, dodging cats, scooters and cars -the drivers in Greece are legendary for their daring and speed. Some touristy stuff/junk but also tucked in among the shops, you can find great treasure. For E 6.10 I bought a small beautiful sculpture made of alabaster. Took our time looking out over the land, the red tile roofs and the sea below. We purchased gifts and Coke (in 7 oz glass bottles) and pita chips at a spot next to the Agean. After a short rain shower, we found two lawn/sun chairs by the water (E 2.50 for the day), and spent several hours hunting rocks, reading and napping. Part of the beach is topless, part is not. I had my first alcohol in Greece, not Ouzo, but a draft beer called Mythos (like the character in Highlander -the oldest of the immortal).

28 Sept 2008

Efftalou - thermal springs......it was nearly dusk when the four taxi's dropped our group next to a crashing sea, the salt spray a fine mist of scent and feeling. Cold -but refreshing at first! I thought he was dumping us in the middle of nowhere.....yet tucked among the rocks is a domed concrete structure that is over 500 years old. Inside, the public bath.......our group had reserved it for this evening. With everyone already in suits and water shoes, we were encouraged to first take a cold shower (outside a small doorway was a showerhead....just open to the sea and the rocks, on a concrete platform, with a on/off handle) before entering the hot water. Oh my--- the sensation of being so vulnerable to the elements, and cold, really exposed! Then, back through the small doorway and down...down....down.....stone steps, ducking our heads and passing through an iron gate to see a square stone depression full of hot water that smelled like a volcano (which it is).......and hot! Oh my, very very hot. Pebbles and rocks covered the bottom, you could get all in or sit around the ledge with just your feet/legs in the water. We sang, we soaked, our voices echoed up to the small square openings in the roof of the "building". Then some awkwardness as we all figured out the best way to dress for dinner (there is only one wooden screen, and there were 16 people) then thankfully some cooperation as we held towels for each other. Barbara had told us the story of two rooms this week, both with a beautiful table, an abundant feast....but only one utensil - a spoon so long that you could not reach your mouth with the end......one room was complaining and spilling food and not happy with their circumstances, but the other room.....well, they were feeding each other and sharing and having a wonderful time. It's our interconnectedness and our perspective that is the secret to happiness. Dinner next to the sea - our first meal out in Greece, fresh Dorado and tuna, octopus in a wonderful red sauce (just one bite, but yum!). Wine and cats (yes, cats roam around everywhere, even next to your table at dinner). Taxi's back - a sound sleep like never before in my life.

no birds.......

2008-09-15T09:11:00.000-07:00

I take a walk around the neighborhood near my office on as many consecutive days as I can during the workweek. I try to get up from my desk and take a short mile and a quarter walk at around 10:30 a.m. (in all kinds of weather). If it isn't raining and the winds are calm, it's a very quiet neighborhood. If the mowers aren't in the condo complex right up the street- Monday is their day- it's a beautiful nature walk. In this area, most residents are at work when I walk so there are hardly any animals, or people, or vehicles to contend with.

Today being a Monday in September (still grass-growing season), the mowers & trimmers were out in full force. But - what I noticed most of all during this mindfulness walk was that there were no birds. Yes, the city is nearby, traffic, sirens and back-up beepers can be faintly heard while I concentrate on my steps and my breath. These urban threads of sound fade easily into the background. Yes, it's Indian Summer in the midwest and so the drone of insects in the grass and late season locusts in the cottonwoods are still an undercurrent of sound to accompany my footfalls, but where were the birds?

Usually on this mindfulness walk I can hear all kinds of birds, far away, close by, making a sound with their throats, chattering in the trees, honking or chirping at each other, or I just hear the beating of their wings as they fly by and around the roofs and treetops....but today, September 15th, there wasn't one single bird in the sky, in the trees, or in the yards. That seems very strange to me. Is it migration morning? Are the crows coming early this year? I only noticed because of the lack.....

Where are the birds?

old people fall and break bones......

2008-09-13T13:51:00.000-07:00

Monday, September 1
on Labor Day, just as we finished dropping our friends off at the airport for their respective flights, Daddy Bill fell off of the front porch and broke his right hip. We arrived just as the ambulance did. The porch sits above the driveway, two steep steps up. The trash bin had been rolled up next to the porch for easy access. There is no need to go down the steps to toss a plastic bag of trash into the bin. Daddy Bill reached out to move the bin closer, then made the decision to step down one step. He never made it....he fell all the way to the driveway.

Wednesday, September 3
Bill is in surgery today to repair his hip. I understand from talking to others who have had this experience that this is very, very serious....not the broken bone(s), not the hospitalization, not even the surgery, but the chances at a full recovery without major complications are slim...... Daddy Bill is 87 years old.

Friday, September 5
Bethie off work again today, she hasn't been at work since August 23rd. She was filling out the FMLA paperwork as I left this morning, page after page of it that must be signed by Bill's doctor. Bill is moving to a Wesley rehab facility at 13th and Ridge/Tyler as I write this. He should be in rehab about 20 days, which means we will leave for Greece before he gets out. There is much to do to prepare the house for his return -especially on the outside. The stairs have got to go, or be covered up. The bathrooms (already somewhat ready for handicapped) will need additional retro-fitting. There is the matter of getting him back and forth to additional rehab after he returns home. Seems overwhelming right about now.

One week later:
The rehab facility may release Bill to come home for four hours on Sunday the 14th. There is a checklist of tasks he will have to accomplish when home. Of course, getting him IN the house is our challenge - we are not ready yet. We spent the last two days looking for a handyman or carpenter to assist us with porch modifications. Beth is meeting with someone who might help us at 3:30 this afternoon. Hope it isn't raining, but probably will be. Hurricane Ike may dump 10+ inches of rain on Wichita over the next 3 days - - so tonight we will attempt to frame out the steps to the front porch ourselves -with or without help, in the rain if necessary. We both work for the next two days, so time is running short to get it done by Sunday. A Department of Aging representative met with the Wimbers at Euclid on Thursday and toured the home. She explained what needed to be done to the house (specifically the bathrooms). The Wimber's are eligible for assistance, but there is a deductible that has to be paid by the homeowner(s). Basically we need to ditch the bathroom doors (replacing them with pocket doors), stabilize and cut one tub, and there is something called a transfer bench we may have to purchase for the master bath.

Saturday, September 13
The rented ramp is in place. The transfer bench is ready. We are installing the grab bars today. I had to kid Bethie that she put the mirror in our hallway too low for me to see the top of my head, I can only see my nose....so I reminded her to raise the grab bar on the front porch HIGHER! grin.

The careful assistant......a made-up story.....or is it?

2008-08-01T12:20:00.000-07:00

Imagine a park, with a forest of trees and a river running through it. The forest is open to the public but doesn't get much traffic.

Imagine a park ranger, and her careful assistant (CA) working together for years....managing the park, keeping the trash picked up, monitoring for fires, and generally enjoying life.

The park becomes more popular and special new rules allow float trips on the river. CA is assigned the job. The park buys rafts, life vests, paddles, coolers and all the gear they need to start managing float trips. The park hires expert guides to ride in the rafts with the customers. CA learns how to give safety instructions, assign gear, load the boats with customers, and then starts organizing the float trips at the launch site near the forest. She gets everyone settled and sends them down the river with their expert guides before turning her attention to the next group waiting in line.

It's late summer and the forest is dry.

Several campers are in the forest and they are being closely watched by the park ranger.

One day, the ranger notices fire - and sends CA into the forest to investigate. "You make sure that the fires are small and pose no problem" the park ranger tells her.

So off into the forest goes CA, and when she gets there, the campers start shouting at her to leave them alone. So she backs away. But she is nervous.....she smells smoke. Yes, the fires she can see are small and pose no threat, but she is reluctant to leave.....what if a bigger fire is just down the path? But.....the park ranger said to check, and that's what she did, and since there seemed to be no immediate danger.......CA goes back to the river.

Customers are still lining up ready to go on their float trip and that keeps the CA busy for awhile.

The next day, the park ranger comes over and tells CA that there was some trash blowing out of the forest this morning, and to get over there and make sure the trash is picked up.

So off into the forest goes CA, and when she gets there, she sees that the campers have youngsters. Now the youngsters have been told to keep the trash picked up and to watch the fires, but they are inexperienced. When CA explains that blowing trash gets into the river, and small fires can become big ones, the camper parents get mad and chase her out of the forest -calling her names. They scream that they are responsible, and it's under control.....so just leave them alone.

I wonder what CA can do about the campers and still keep the float trips running smoothly?

Is the park ranger willing to step in?

my job consumes me..........

2008-07-09T17:46:00.000-07:00

My job consumes me at this point in my life. But it is only one spoke.

The spokes:

Spiritual, social, career, family, education, finances, health.

The time management seminar I attended was more like a yoga class! Maybe I hear the yoga in everyday speech, I don't know.

Anyway, the talk at the end of the seminar was about the seven spokes to our wheels (life)- better keep them in balance!

Time Flies.....

2008-05-28T10:35:00.000-07:00

My intent was to blog at least once every month, where did March and April and now May go? Here's a short summary:

I'll be back with more in June.................

May: 11.6 inches of rain in Wichita in a single month, shattering the old record set back in 1935. My first vacation (camping trip to Marion over Memorial Day) since last October.

April: The earliest this or any other camper of ours has been out, Friday April 4th. Brrrrr. Again -we head out two weeks later for a sunburn at Afton.

March: The job consumes me, day after day, week after week. I was promoted to a position responsible for implementing new accounting software........and my life changed almost instantly. We hire several new accountants to handle the flood of new companies and one of them used to be my boss back at Bank IV.

My Hot Tub

2008-02-19T16:56:00.000-08:00

Six years ago, we bought a hot tub. We noticed the vendor in a corner of the Sport, Boat, and Travel Show one weekend and stopped by to check out his product. What was interesting about this hot tub (a SoftTub), was that, unlike conventional hot tubs with powerful heating elements and the need for 220 wiring, the SoftTub brand plugs right into a normal outlet and uses an electric motor to heat the water. It's the inefficiency of the motor heating up during use as it pumps water through the tubes that creates the desired temperature.

After some consideration, a bit of haggling, and some creative cash movement, we purchased the tub. It fit perfectly inside of the "pool room" (once home to a Valley brand, bar-weary, coin-operated pool table) and we enjoyed it year-round every year.

At Christmas, the circuit board (mainly the thermostat part) faulted, and the tub would only heat to 90 degrees before shutting off. We located a dealer-authorized repair specialist in Tulsa, Oklahoma who agreed to not only repair the electronics (his best guess was the too-often power outages from Kansas' many storms might have weakened the GFI and delicate circuitry of the tub), but to order and install a brand new liner as well. The liner was not torn or discolored in any way but it did have a ring of harder, puffier material that had, over time, been chemically damaged right at or near the water line.

We got up very early one Sunday, loaded the tub in the Toyota and headed to Tulsa. Another great feature of the SoftTub is it's portablity. Once empty, the motor detached, the tub rolls like a big hula hoop. It doesn't weigh much at all.

So off we go. We leave our tub with Calvin, and head to the casino for some gambling. We returned about 4 hours later to pick up the tub, pay Calvin and head home.

All is well and we are happy tubbing - a welcome respite from the cold Kansas winter we are having this year.

The story of a virus attack.....

2008-01-02T08:27:00.000-08:00

At home, on the Saturday morning before Christmas, I logged on to MySpace. My nephew had tried to add me as a friend the night before. Nothing new there so I logged off. I checked e-mail at work and just as I was replying to a budgeting question, all hell broke loose on the home computer. We were attacked by a virus so malicious that it:

Disabled the 'current' virus protection (PC-cillin14) and deleted the built-in recovery points (a tool which is there in case you want to go back to 'before" an incident).
Accessed, downloaded, opened and/or stored a Trojan download virus that kept going out to the Internet to download more viruses- you should have seen the boxes that were popping up on the screen over and over and over again......
Locked up the computer.

Within the next 24 hours, as the attempt to fight back continued, this attack completely shut us down - the operating system shut down to prevent damage, and the computer wouldn't even boot in Safe Mode. This was brutal.

After a complete re-formatting of the computer hard drive(s), the operating system was re-installed and the home computer is back up and operational. Luckily, we had a zip drive and had important data backed up.....so other than the time to re-install various software and drivers.....the important stuff was safe. New Year's Eve was spent re-installing drivers and virus protection, recovering data from the zip drive and installing the connection to e-mail from the service provider.

Since we have a robust firewall at our office, and MySpace was the only site I was at on Saturday morning, and we have had viruses from MySpace at least once before that were discovered and quarantined by our software...... but took significant time and effort to identify, clean up, and quarantine, I am assuming that this attack came from MySpace.

In conclusion: I wish the people well who create and use these damaging viruses and hope that they can find an outlet for their talents that would benefit society and not harm others in the future.

Reminder: Please back up your data: music, e-mail, pictures, and other important files into a safe place (maybe an external drive would be worth the money).....even to CD's if they are precious to you.

Business in Arkansas

2007-12-01T06:57:00.000-08:00

We toured a "chip mill" in Conway, Arkansas yesterday. We flew on our corporate jet - I sat in the co-pilot's seat.

When we arrived, I was given a hardhat and earplugs and we climbed this crane and stood behind the operator as he unloaded a log truck in just two bites. He then continued to feed the logs into a drum system with a chipper and --finally ---shooting out the other end of the process are huge streams of tiny chips like you would find in a bag near a BBQ grill. The pile in the first picture is as tall as a two-story building. This plant is not for sale but equipment similar to it is.

.... Hardwoods such as oak, sweet gum, and hickory are chipped to become raw material for copy paper, paper cups, diapers, etc. Pine becomes cardboard and post board.

Our company, Nulyne, is in the pallet business ---but to obtain a steady source of raw material (cut trees brought in by independent loggers on semi-trucks), they are proposing that we enter the chip and sawmill business. The loggers will sell to the company that pays the highest price. Even if we paid the highest price, we would still have parts of that load that we could not use (currently). So....our company is asking for an investment of over a million dollars to vertically integrate and develop the ability to use all parts of the load purchased from the loggers. The various names of logs that might be mixed in a single load are pulpwood, saw logs, mini-wood, post logs etc. and describe the type and/or size of the log. We use mostly mini-wood.

It's been a tough business for the last four years.

Reports by the forestry service and independent surveys are in agreement - there is no lack of hardwood in the Ozark and Ouachita forests as well as the private land in central, southwest, and northwest Arkansas. The national forests must be managed, and that often includes logging operations, (controlled burns are another method).

I love hardwood trees alive, but as long as I know that the forest is sustainable and that there are organizations and processes in place to protect and manage them, I don't mind being in the lumber business.

Kathy and Mo

2007-11-04T05:57:00.000-08:00

Everything in life can be explained with quotes from the Kathy and Mo show Parallel Lives(Kathy Najimy and Mo Gaffney). The show was first broadcast on HBO in 1991.

Circumstances arise every moment where the comedy in a situation is mirrored by the comedy in the show. My VHS tape of the program was so worn that it simply would not play anymore. Luckily, the show was finally released on DVD. The Kathy and Mo show was the very first thing I ever recorded on my new TiVo.

On picking the color of human skin: "Tans, and reds, and don't you love that olive?" then: "White?....isn't that a little bland? We'll have to keep an eye on them."

"Choices, Choices, Choices"

"Messy's good!"

"Am I you, are you me? Are we we?"

"Don't worry about us, we fit in anywhere!"

"I'd like a white-wine spritzer please!"

"Spinning, Spinning, Spinning, Spinning."

To compliment someone: "you look verryy verry pretty tonight!"

When travelling, start singing: "On the road again......, I just can't wait to get on the road again."

If you are bombarded by product ads: "I don't want to smell fresh as a daisy!"

Upon recalling your misguided youth: "I lied....I lied a lot."

If you are talking to your best girlfriends: "Sistah-Woman-Sistah."

"I had a three-way....................................I think."

Life's not so bad.............except for those IceCapades."

move from your intelligence, not from your will.....

2007-10-13T11:40:00.000-07:00

Today, my teacher told us to move from our intelligence and not from our will. I'm sure her teacher shared this wisdom and she chose to pass it on.....as I am passing it on here.

It sums up my practice in one sentence.

How often do we move from our will? All day, every day?

Well, let's see - the alarm clock goes off at 6 something (while it is still dark), and I will myself to roll over and hit the snooze button. Let me tell you that my body is not ready to crawl out of a warm bed on a cold morning.....I will it to.

I will myself some mornings to be patient and compassionate with other drivers on my way to work.....wishing them well, and breathing.

I will myself to stop and sit up tall and take a deep breath several times as I sit at my computer screen . Over and over and over again.

I will myself to breathe through painful back spasms.....which are occurring at least once per day now and sometimes twice (sigh), usually between my arrival at work and the lunch hour.

I willfully sit in my chair all day, drive all day, ride in a plane all day, go to meetings all day, on many days....

When do I get a chance to move from my intelligence (or if it makes more sense, from my breath and not my body)?

In yoga of course. Breathing into a pose, not forcing myself into it. Listening inward, not willing some action to occur, but letting it just happen.

In yoga I can do this.

Estes Park Colorado

2007-10-01T11:54:00.000-07:00

I took my spirit to the rocks

And laid it by the stream

I asked my question,

Then I slept.

And this is what I dreamed:

A full moon rising over pines

That lit the shore like day

A lover's voice

A raging fire

My question swept away.

Spontaneous Yoga

2007-09-21T09:11:00.000-07:00

Something spontaneous happened in our Yoga II class last night. The center is located at 9th and Edgemoor, surrounded by grass and trees, walking paths, tennis courts, a pool and a playground. The yoga room is at the end of a hallway next to the playground, and has floor-to-ceiling windows on two full sides. The blinds are partially lowered, but the glass goes all the way to the floor and we usually leave it open. Small children will sometimes peek in from outside, as the view into the room is about eye-level for them. They are not self-conscious about cupping their hands around their eyes, looking in, and watching our movements. I face the students and the windows; and will often wave at these youngsters (most wave back, a bit shyly....but they wave :).

Last night, a group of six or seven kids, around ages 4 -11 not only looked in.....they began to mimic our movements......so I went with it. I had all five students plus myself turn around, line up our mats, and face the windows.........and we had a yoga class for the kids. They stayed with us for 30 minutes! They did everything we did: knees to chest, cat/cow, spinal balance, mountain pose, tree, forward bends, on and on.....

It was so much fun.......and

what a lesson......

They smiled and they laughed, and they took turns acting silly. I could tell that they were exploring the postures, and they paid attention. It was freedom of movement - organic - unforced - a little rough, sure...but the joyous spirit was there....

We eventually lost their attention and they drifted off.....but they left this memory behind. The wonder and curiosity that children have is such a great reminder for us all.

Namaste,

Cindy

My Happy Place

2007-09-19T08:08:00.001-07:00

Sunrise

Lost Bridge Village, Beaver Lake

Northwest Arkansas, USA

July 2007

Balloon Crew

2007-09-05T12:28:00.000-07:00

Labor Day Weekend:

Was able to get up very early to help crew for a hot air balloon ride:

Several misconceptions I had:

1. The balloon does not just inflate with hot air. There is a cold inflate first with a huge fan and then the burn takes over and lifts the fabric.

2. There is more than one propane tank.

3. The balloon does not rise straight up and then float with the wind. The pilot can drift almost motionless near the ground. The ride can last over an hour, gently rising and falling as the pilot brushes the tops of trees and then hovers near the ground again (wind conditions just right of course).

And then they were off!

taking it on.....or August was for teaching.....

2007-08-27T07:51:00.000-07:00

August was for teaching...

My introduction to the city's premier fitness club came in May with a weekend seminar. As I entered the yoga studio my heart was light, for this was a beautiful space. The warm hardwood floors, the prop room full of equipment, and a stereo system with speakers high above the mirrored walls - these spoke to me about attention to detail and invited me to practice.

I gave my business card to the director and left thinking "well that was fun." Two days later, I was in negotiations to begin teaching at the club! I left thinking "well they must really need teachers!"

On May 22, my first class began at 5:45 p.m. Students strolled in for the next ten minutes. What was billed as a restorative class was going to be a little more than just supported poses on the floor. I had been to class with three of the club's current teachers, and in those classes I realized that this club was a little more fitness oriented than mind/body practice oriented. The students seemed to want a work-out even in the restorative format. I saw someone come out of final relaxation and do ab crunches. I was astounded -but said nothing.

My self-doubt grew as I attempted to teach a Level 1/2 class the next week. During the first month, I questioned whether or not I was "fit" enough to be teaching there. I questioned whether or not the students were getting any yoga. I knew they were getting a work-out, but were they getting any yoga? Doubts, and more doubts....discussed endlessly with myself, my journal, my friends, and most of all -my teachers.

By the second month I had settled in - at one point, I taught seven hours in a single week. I was really enjoying the experience - letting a spontaneous teaching flow from me in the more advanced classes. I was starting to dread the decision I knew I had to make. Here was my dilemma: I was already teaching at a local rec center, but this fitness club maintained a "no compete" policy. I was able to circumvent this rule, but only through August. Once the summer (and the rec center session) was over, I was going to have to choose.

I chose the rec center. I told the directors of both locations what I had decided. One was happy, and one was not. My last class at the fitness club was August 21st. This was 90 days of teaching experience that I will cherish forever.

My last class was a restorative (read gentle), and it turned out so good -smooth, (bitter)sweet, and poignant. We used bolsters and blocks and straps and blankets. I shared yoga, I played well-suited music, and I spoke of the inevitability of change (the change of seasons is a reminder that change comes -even if we do not want it to). Hopefully everyone felt as good as I did when class was over. It is said that sometimes the teaching is as much for the teacher as for the student.

Namaste.

Skydiving in Mt. Vernon, Missouri

2007-07-31T07:54:00.000-07:00

In July 2007 the Wimber Family Reunion was at Beaver Lake in North West Arkansas. 14 family members spanning 4 generations, ranging in age from 5 to 86, from Modesto, CA, Hurst, TX, Wichita, Kansas and guests from North Little Rock, AR met at a rental house in Lost Bridge Village.

One highlight of the reunion week was a day trip to Mt. Vernon Missouri, where six of us went skydiving. Our tandem jump professional was Matt. The whole crew, from pilot to packer, was very professional. The plane was a tiny Cessna 210. We jumped from 10,000 feet which took about 15 minutes of air travel. The first 5,000 feet was freefall, one minute's worth. The next 5 minutes was "under canopy". You would not believe how quiet it is under canopy.

Age range of the jumpers: 34 to 57.

Cost: $200 (included video and still pictures too!)

See more at:

http://www.freefallexpress.com/

Best Friends......

2007-06-13T06:22:00.000-07:00

Remember when you were a kid and you had a "best friend"? It was a serious pact between the two of you. It may or may not have been a spoken agreement. It could have been sealed with spit and a handshake, a secret code, blood from a pin prick, a note in the lunchroom.......or it was just assumed and never formalized.

Maybe this friendship lasted for only days or weeks, maybe it went on for years and years.

As you reached adulthood, it was childish to gush about having a "best friend". But there might have been one relationship that remained a constant and dependable presence in your life anyway, no matter what you called it. And then one day......you find out that it is possible to outgrow your best friend. You take divergent paths....you grow apart. There is still love and respect, but the relationship settles into mostly shared memories of another time and another place in your lives. You are different now, she is different now.

Someone else may come along that touches you deeply, someone you reach out to when you are feeling happy and when you are feeling sad. When something happens in your life - this is the person you want to share it with. Your thoughts turn to her often. You feel safe and cared about in her presence because she listens well, and responds thoughtfully. She is smart, and funny, and very complex. She is wise in so many ways. She makes you happy. And it goes both ways. You care about her. You want her to be happy, successful, loved, appreciated, and comforted. You get to know each other better by sharing your histories -the events that made you who and what you are today. You catch yourselves telling each other about the long, long road you've travelled to get here -some stories are horrible to recall or immensely sad, some are absolutely joyous or unbelievably lucky.......most of them are simply amusing. An amazing thing happens: you find yourself being honest with her. And you start to realize that it is mutually beneficial to nurture and deepen this relationship. She helps you, you help her.

It dawns on you slowly (but delightfully) that you have a best friend......and she feels the same way about you. You find yourself telling other people about this wonderful person you've met. You cherish and protect the time you spend together, on the phone, in person, by e-mail.

Maybe this friendship will last for days or weeks, maybe it will last for years and years.

My associates

2007-05-01T13:53:00.000-07:00

Here is my office staff. My "work family". The staff of CGF Industries.

I've worked with some of these people since the 80's (back in our banking days). We have a long history. I feel that we compliment each other. Our strengths mesh well. It's a good job, and I'm lucky to have it.

submission to Newsweek's "My Turn"

2007-05-01T12:54:00.000-07:00

Finding Yoga

One day I woke up and I was in my 40’s. After eighteen years of professional accounting –in a cubicle, sitting in a chair, staring at a computer screen, I looked in the mirror at what I had become. Those years had taken their toll….on my posture, my flexibility, the shape of my body, and my feeling of health and well-being. Slightly overweight, and with little flexibility or stamina left from my younger days, I wanted to try an activity that would feel good as well as providing health benefits. I wanted an activity without the eventual knee, hip, or foot pain of running around a track or pounding away on treadmills. I needed to avoid the potential injuries of team sports like softball or basketball (been there, done that). Although I had been walking regularly, riding my bike during the nice parts of the year (I live in Kansas), and sometimes swimming indoors (oh, those strong chemicals), it wasn’t enough for me.

I was intimidated by my first yoga class. I certainly didn’t look like a “yogi”. I didn’t feel like I belonged with those “pretzel-like people”, and yet…..the practice felt good! I just kept going back. My teachers were very kind. I tried to pay attention to their instructions – quickly deciding that it didn’t matter what I looked like in that wall-to-wall, and floor-to-ceiling mirror, what I wore, or what other people could do with their bodies that I couldn’t. I resolved to make yoga really count for something. This was an hour to concentrate on myself and forget about what I had to do when class was over. That was the main message – to try and be present to what my body was saying, listen to it and let it tell me what to do, what I needed, where attention and breath should flow.

One of the first things I noticed was that I was a bit sore the day after I didn’t practice. I just loved my teachers at our local YMCA’s, so by halfway through the first year I was going to classes whenever I could squeeze them into my schedule. It seemed like I had more energy than I remember having in years. This new “source” of energy spilled over into the rest of my life.

I noticed that I was more optimistic, calmer, and less stressed. My close friends noticed too, and commented. My relationships improved. After the first year of practice, I found I could concentrate on deliberate breathing, and try to control my physical reactions to external influences (think busy highways at 7:30 a.m. with angry/impatient drivers jockeying for position….or surly clerks at retail stores). I sit up straighter and live more in the moment. I am more patient. I smile more. I sought ways to serve my community and found them. I am more generous with my time. I am happier.

I stopped suffering from low back pain. My body changed. I gained strength, improving both my balance and my flexibility. Some poses came more easily. Some are just as challenging as the first time I tried them. But that’s okay. The real difference came when I changed how I treated myself– when I tried to stop the sometimes constant negative self-talk we inflict on ourselves (and this may take the rest of my life to achieve). The biggest effect was inside. I stopped being at war with myself.

I subscribed to magazines and newsletters. I found pictures of unbelievably beautiful poses, practical advice, and essays on such topics as meditation. A thought-provoking quote from a leading online magazine resonated with me (they were answering a question from a reader who smoked). It said “Smoking will not interfere with your yoga, but yoga will interfere with your smoking.” This is how I started to feel about certain things (caffeine, alcohol, junk food, angry drivers, constant complaining, etc.). My yoga practice was influencing my daily life.

By the end of that first year I was losing weight. When you hear students say that they lose weight by practicing yoga, it’s probably because they are more mindful and aware of what, and when they eat. It’s not just the physical exertion of a moderately active class but the awareness that your practice will bring. It just seemed easier to like, and take care of myself once I started practicing yoga. You might find you develop a respect and appreciation for your body that might have been missing or pushed below the surface.

I was able to e-mail my teachers. They not only had the patience to listen, they were often kind enough to answer - discussing books and articles, recommending music and websites, passing along tips. Without their knowledge, guidance, and personal attention, I would not have a yoga practice today. My teachers each shared their own style of yoga with me. I thank them for showing me so many things and opening so many doors. They have enriched my life in ways that (to my surprise and delight) I am still discovering.

I am happy to conclude by saying that not only do I have a satisfying personal yoga practice today, but a wonderful group of students at a local recreation center that kindly and generously allow me to be their yoga teacher every Thursday night.

Meditations from the Mat quote

2007-04-30T06:56:00.000-07:00

Students come to me with two types of problems. Lingering or chronic physical issues and/or sports injuries.........and emotional issues (divorce, job-difficulties, relationship problems or just feeling empty and sad). Having reached a point in my life where I've experienced these things for myself, I can only show them compassion and offer the same answer to both problems:

Learn what you can do differently from now on, and believe in the power of the universe to help you heal.

Paraphrased from "Meditations from the Mat"

March yoga class quiz...

2007-03-26T12:31:00.000-07:00

I had a chance to take some yoga classes from various teachers around the city in March 2007.

1) Let's say a student (Sally) was able to sit cross-legged, and completely fold forward onto the floor. Let's say that most of the other students could not go that far into the pose. If you were the teacher, which of the following would you NOT want to say:

a. "Folks that are more flexible like Sally are feeling this pose in their own way, while the rest of us are getting the same benefit to this stretch even if we cannot fold forward as far.....".

b. "Look at Sally, a very flexible student, over there not feeling a thing (she does this all the time because she teaches yoga)."

c. "Yoga is a journey, not a destination. Only go as far as you can today, tomorrow may be different. Search for the sensation of creating length in this stretch and keep breathing! If you don't fold forward very far, it's okay."

2) Let's say another teacher is demonstrating a seated forward bend with legs extended. Which of the following verbal cues would be better?:

a) Fold forward, reach out, grab your toes and pull your chest through your upper arms.

b) Reach out for your toes. If you can't reach your toes, use a strap.

c) As we gently fold forward, hinging from our hips, we can reach out to take hold of our toes. Lengthen the spine, without forcing or pulling ourselves forward. Think about lifting our hearts as we extend through the crown of our heads.

3) Let's say that you are in a class working on a challenging pose. What would you like to hear the teacher say?

a) "This is a hard pose. Don't worry if you can't do it. Try it anyway".

b) "Find the place where you feel challenged yet successful in this pose. There is a part of it that you can do if you focus and concentrate on your breath.

c) "Level 3, raise one leg and then one arm."

All three situations actually happened this month - in classes with teachers of various levels of experience. As the student, I was reminded to follow my instincts, listen to my body, and remember my training.

Namaste, Cindy

(b) (c) (b)

Viva Las Vegas....

2007-02-20T08:30:00.000-08:00

Had one of those once in a lifetime weekends in Las Vegas this year. When we left Kansas, it was overcast, windy and 6 degrees. When we landed in Vegas it was sunny, calm and 74!

President's Day weekend, with the NBA All Star Game in town, the Strip was so busy that it took an hour to go a mile in a cab-assuming you could even get one (so we walked everywhere).

Hit a progressive jackpot on a .25 slot machine for $6,788. Rooms and meals comped, saw a fantastic show, played roulette - Beth and I both boxed # 29 - it hit. I split three 8's - won the hand, then got three blackjacks in a row. Bethie played $ 10 on 0/00 (a $170 payout) four different times.....and on and on. Dream weekend. Who-da' thunk?

Viva Las Vegas................

Attitude

2007-01-25T08:47:00.000-08:00

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head. Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today?"So she did and she had a wonderful day. The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head."H-M-M," she said, "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today?" So she did and she had a grand day. The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. "Well," she said, "today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail." So she did and she had a fun, fun day. The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head. "YEA!" she exclaimed, "I don't have to fix my hair today!"

Attitude is everything.
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
Live simply,
Love generously,
Speak kindly.......

How to eat a truffle......

2007-01-13T17:07:00.000-08:00

How to Eat a Truffle....
From "Vosges --Haut Chocolat"

See it. There should be a glossy shine to the truffle, this shows a good temper, a tight bond between the cocoa butter and the cacao mass.

Lick it. Licking the truffle gives a hint of what is to come. A teaser.

Snap it. Quality chocolate should always be dry to the touch. If the chocolate is stored at ideal conditions between 63-65 degrees Fahrenheit when you take a bite you should hear a crisp, snap breaking through the outside to reach the creamy ganache inside.

Taste it. We always like to bite the truffle in two bites. In the first bite you are just getting to know the truffle and in the second, you delve deeper, searching out the flavors and the nuances. You become immersed into the experience of the chocolate, your mouth and the sensations. The taste should have a long lingering finish.

Two White Trash Bags by the Side of the Road

2007-01-12T12:48:00.000-08:00

Two White Trash Bags by the Side of the Road

Sarah

It was late when he showed up….his car steaming and dripping in the cold rain. Sarah was awake, listening for the slam of the door, so distinctive that no other car she had ever heard made the exact same clunking noise. When she heard it, every hair on her body seemed to wake up. She shivered as the heater came on and started to blow into the room. “Here we go” she thought.

2. Corky

Corky paused before getting out of the car. Except for his breathing, the only noise was a ticking sound from the engine. Leather creaked as he shifted his weight and pushed against the driver’s door. Last summer he had taken a jack to it so that it closed right. Now the door made a clunking noise when it shut. Opening it required Corky to shift his shoulder and lean just right to pop the catch. Once out of the car, he approached the house which was almost completely hidden behind massive oak trees. He thought to himself that it was a bit like being in church. The huge trees muffled noise and gently whispered above him. Although the leaves were brown and wet, they would not fall to the ground until spring. Corky loved oak trees.

He did not need a key; the front door was already open.

Sarah

When Sarah and Jay started the bookstore, they had little expectation of making a profit; but they hoped to break-even the first couple of years. The economy was booming, but they knew that a start-up business does poorly until it’s established. They tightened their belts and made the best of things, eating home grown vegetables, using coupons, wearing last year’s clothes and walking everywhere they could. Then they disconnected the cable, gave up the cell phone, and stopped the paper. It was not enough. The business seemed to be a hungry animal, chewing up most of their savings and even eating into their small retirement fund. They continued to hope, working 70 hours a week, streamlining inventory, and advertising as much as possible.

One day when Sarah arrived home, the house didn’t just seem empty, it seemed abandoned. A stack of paper was in the middle of the desk and things looked out of place. It wasn’t long before she discovered that Jay was gone…and with him the rest of the savings account, anything of value in the house, and the car. The foreclosure notices, credit card statements, and installment loan coupon books stared at her from where he had left them.

Sarah left town the next day.

Corky

Corky set his bag on the table inside of the doorway and started up the stairs in the dark. Lovemaking was first on the agenda; then dinner and wine by candlelight after. His pulse quickened as he climbed the stairs, closer and closer to the room at the end of the hall. He had tried to follow the directions given to him by phone earlier in the day and had finally arrived about an hour later than he planned. At last he reached the door and paused for just a second to take a deep breath. He slowly pushed it open and entered the room. She was there, in bed, gauze curtains barely hiding the sight of her: beautiful......and waiting. By the time he reached the bed, he was undressed as well.

Sarah

Sarah met Corky in the spring. As she tried to pinpoint the exact date, all she could think about was spring. She remembered the earth smelling musty and damp, the feeling of freedom as she started life over in a new place with new optimism. Even a simple walk in the evening was exciting as she shed her old life and the pain from Jay’s betrayal started to fade. The sign on the front of the building said “Counter Help Wanted” so she went inside the shop.

When she first saw Corky, she saw only his butt sticking out from under the hood of a car. When the rest of him emerged, she was startled. Such intense blue eyes! He stared at her and she stared back at him. What followed was an affair so intense that the two of them stopped every other activity to be with each other. Now, six months later, the passion was cooling off like the weather. They had started meeting each other in unusual places to keep the excitement high. This latest place was Sarah’s idea. While house-hunting, she had unlocked a window in the utility room of one really nice house she had visited. She and Corky would be back later for a private tour.

Corky

Dinner was served late of course. The food wasn’t as good at 4:00 in the morning, but the lovers did not care. By 6:00 a.m. they had cleaned up the mess, erasing all signs that they had been in the house. Now they were loading Corky’s car; smiling at each other as they stowed their bags in the back seat.

By 7:30 a.m. it started to rain and the road turned icy. At 7:47 a.m. Corky lost control of the Plymouth and it rolled off the interstate, down into the ditch, flipped over twice, and landed on its top. By the time the state troopers arrived, both passengers were already dead. The radio was still on - draining the last of the battery. A local station was playing a song called “One in a Million, Chance of a Lifetime”, and the smell of gasoline hung heavy in the cold air.

Bob

The tow truck rumbled along the side of the highway and then parked. Bob got ready to work his fourth accident of the morning. He looked down at the Plymouth and said under his breath: “What a bummer, that’s a nice ride”. He got right to the task and soon had the car taken care of. A trooper handed him two white trash bags he said he found on the side of the road. “What’s in those?” asked Bob. “I don’t know.” said the trooper, “I think they belong with the car. Maybe they fell out when the car flipped over.”

Bob opened the trash bags and saw leftovers, an empty wine bottle, sheets, pillowcases and a few candle stubs. “Someone must have had a party” he thought, as he tossed the bags into the tow truck and drove away.

The Banana Spider in the Window

2007-01-01T09:44:00.001-08:00

The Banana Spider in the Window

by
Cynthia Ascanio

The banana spider crawled into the cowboy boot just after midnight. Jacky was sound asleep and oblivious to the event.

Jacky’s week on the island was over and what a week it had turned out to be!

Through each weapons search at the airport, flight delays, and greasy fast food, she kept telling herself “I will have a good vacation, I will. I deserve to get away and have some fun, I do.” When she finally arrived at her destination (17 hours later than planned) a pretty dark-haired girl smiled and motioned for her to duck her head to accept the wreath of flowers placed around her neck. From that point forward, things started to go right for Jacky Johnson.

Jacky scuba-dived, dined on expertly prepared meals fresh from the sea, drank all the wine she wanted, and slept late every day. She started to turn brown from the sun. By the sixth day, she had lost track of time (no watch), the ups and downs of the stock market (no TV), and her carefully planned budget (plastic was so easy to use!).

In an attempt to squeeze the most out of her time on the island, Jacky signed up for a horseback ride by the ocean. She bought a cheap pair of boots, a straw hat, and a red bandana. Her knees hurt when the ride was over, but she enjoyed it more than she thought she would. What took Jacky by surprise was how tired she felt after dinner. She fell into bed exhausted and slept her last night away without dreaming or waking.

The next morning, Jacky called room service and started to pack her things. She looked at the cheap boots (already cracked where they bent into the stirrup), and considered leaving them behind, but decided at the last minute to take them home in the duffel bag.

Back to her everyday life, Jacky unpacked and did laundry. The boots ended up in the back of the closet. She downloaded her pictures and showed everyone at work how much fun she had on vacation.

The banana spider was no longer dormant. Tucked into the toe of one cowboy boot, she spun a protective web and slept. She got her name from the banana shaped mark where her deadly poison was produced, just below her head. She laid her eggs and then crawled out of the boot, making her way to the window next to the king-size bed in the master bedroom.

Summer ended and Jacky needed to air the house. She took a few days off and worked her way through the house ending up in the bedroom. She spent a few minutes pulling back curtains and raising blinds before using a duster, (one of those colorful static-cling kind) on the sill.

Something landed on Jacky’s hand and she looked down in visceral horror at a large green spider. In the next instant the banana spider bit Jacky in the webbing between her thumb and first finger.

Jacky was dead in about five minutes, paralyzed, unable to move or cry out. She died next to the bed, within reach of the telephone, no longer able to breathe in and out.

The offspring of the banana spider, just hatched that morning, smelled death and filed out of the closet (all 147 of them), to investigate.

The end.

2006 Retrospective - It's all about yoga....

2006-12-30T09:10:00.000-08:00

January: I teach my first ever yoga class. There are 23 students (and my teacher) present for the hour long class! Though I needed to speak up louder, it went well. I was so wound up that I had trouble sleeping that night - it was all I had hoped for and dreamed about.

February: My first paycheck from teaching yoga - February 4, 2006 (I give it away to the person who made it possible). One yoga teacher and good friend celebrates her 30th birthday, and another moves away -leaving for Texas at the end of the month. I have to accept that teachers do sometimes leave, it's up to me to continue my practice without them.

March: So that we can share images as well as text in our e-mail, we purchase a digital camera. Many long hours of research went into the decision and once it arrives, many more hours are spent practicing and learning the features and capabilities of the Canon.

April: Purple Pansies!

May: My former teacher (and now close personal friend) visits from Texas and we attend two different classes together. This is the apex of my now 3-year old practice. I am strong and flexible. My endurance is better than ever, and I feel wonderful. The world of yoga is at my fingertips.

June, July, August: I injure my lumbar spine on the first camping trip of the year. How? Don't really know. Did it just happen on the camping trip or was it cumulative? Don't really know. What will my yoga practice be like from now on? Don't really know. A spinal surgeon recommends surgery -and I agree to it. My first ever surgical procedure takes place on July 21st. The results from the microdiskectomy are positive, my nerve damage begins to heal slowly.

September: We are able to vacation in Arkansas. I hike and swim and begin each day with a short outdoor yoga practice. Slowly and with great mindfulness of my limitations in forward bends and spinal twists, I approach my practice. By the middle of September I return to the recreation center, teaching one night per week. We attend the Yoga Journal Colorado Conference in Estes Park. I attend classes from some of the best teachers in the world.

October: I attend teacher training in Oklahoma, YogaFit Level 2 - good thing I had been practicing headstand as that proved to be the focus of the second master class on Sunday.

November and December are spent on the interior of the house - we basically had to move out. New carpeting was laid throughout the living areas and bedrooms over a span of two weeks.

Christmas: with my family and my friends - and yoga as my refuge from a chaotic world.

2006-12-14T20:09:00.000-08:00

I want to live where trees live.
I want to be where they flourish.
Not where the struggle to survive takes so much effort
that to them, life means to exist, not grow.

I want to live where trees live
Where the clear water has nourished
my roots and I can grab hold of the soil so tightly
that I crack the granite below.

I want to live where trees live.

Losing a pet........

2006-12-10T08:13:00.000-08:00

A short memorial for our kitty cat Shardae...............We had Shardae put to sleep on December 5th - she had bone cancer.

Way back (13 or 14 years ago.......) I was smoking (yes, smoking) outside the parking garage and chatting with other bank employees about cats. One lady said "hey, we just had kittens, do you want one?" and I said I'd think about it. Well, Bethie and I went to her house and picked out the runt of the litter. I named her for my favorite singer Sade....and since no one can say her name right, I used the phonetic version. Shardae was supposed to keep the other cat, Silky company - which....never quite worked out the way we thought it was going to! Ha. But they managed to "agree to disagree".

Shardae was the strangest, dumbest cat I've ever known. So strange. She thought she saw bugs on the wallpaper and (back when she had front claws).....she would pick at the wallpaper, tearing little strips off of the wall.......oh my........ And.....she would literally bark at moths and flies, bark, not meow........and she never really wanted you to pet her with your hands, but she would let you rub her with your feet (socks or no socks).....all day long........

After Silky, Shardae seemed okay living by herself. She even acted a little nicer to us both. Then we adopted Frosty from my mom and Chuck. Frosty was determined to make friends.....she flat wore Shardae out. You could almost see Shardae resign herself to putting up with the sweet, harmless, lovable little white cat and yes....eventually they even napped next to one another on the waterbed - not actually TOUCHING, mind you....but close enough just the same.

goodbye Shardae, 'twas interesting to know ya'..........

Holiday Survival Kit

2006-12-09T15:50:00.000-08:00

I was reading in our company's health newsletter about an emergency survival kit and wanted to share a version of it with my yoga students. I placed the following items in a paper cup:

A rubber band
A mint
A sticky note
A toothpick
A tea bag
A pencil
A band-aid

I'll be handing these simple items out in class over the next two weeks:

the reminder to stay flexible....things have a way of working out
a reminder that you are worth a mint to your friends and family
Stick with it! There's no end to what you can accomplish!
A reminder to pick the good qualities in everyone
You never know how strong you are until you are in hot water!
A reminder to list our blessings......every day
Heal the hurt in others.....and in yourself

Namaste, Cindy